大醉Tony的首頁

今天是母親節，我卻在10天前失去了她。明天將陪伴她走完有形的最後一程。

   這兩天去淡水海關碼頭「上班」。有一次想說差不多了，主辦單位的工作人員說：「還差一分鐘才六點，請再等一下。」我微笑答：「那我慢慢走。」所謂：拿人錢財，任人糟蹋。不，好像是與人消災。

我望著前方的淡水河面，一種難言的惆悵和落寞竟縈繞心中，感覺生死好像浪水潮起潮落，有節奏的「生死生死」在拍打河面。生亦何歡？死亦何哀？人生何去何從？遠端的海慢慢變得朦朧，無形中我好像在海裡深處，又冷又暗，卻沒有人來救我。感覺就是那樣地自然發生，說不出原因。

有人說：迷惑的人活在昨天，奢望的人活在明天，只有清澈的人，活在今天。但我害怕未來，疑惑今日，感嘆昨日。在漫長的歲月裡，即使生命能若宇宙般長壽，能夠探知和認識宇宙每一個地方嗎？已知者有限，未知者無窮？在無垠無涯的宇宙中，我們是不是有如一小顆粒子，看不清，也說不明所有知識的範疇？

偷懶時，常去看垂釣的人釣魚或與他們閒談。從小我就喜歡釣魚（老爸的功勞）。愛上那水中的拉力延伸到手上的感覺，中意看著釣竿彎成半圓型，成為力與美的表現。其實很多人不是為了吃魚而釣魚，而是享受與魚兒鬥智的過程，和魚兒上鉤時的那一刻喜悅。

釣上的河魨 口愛喔

一隻惱人的蒼蠅在我面前營營亂舞，還企圖停在我的上唇。我將牠趕開，牠立刻又飛回來，還每次都停留在同一點上。好像我心中某些痛苦的回憶，揮不去、忘不了，都停留在那痛點上。過一會兒，又飛來一隻，牠想停留在我鼻子上。一樣的是，趕也趕不走。大約一分鐘，我頭上有二十幾隻蒼蠅圍繞，我陷入了長期抗戰的艱苦奮鬥中。像心中如海浪般的思緒，一波還未平息，一波又來侵襲。

周遭環境太差 連才上岸的牠都生氣了 

於是一首歌從觀音山傳來：

   Always On My Mind

           Elvis Presley

Maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have

Maybe I didn't love you

Quite as often as I could have

Little things I should have said and done

I just never took the time

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you

All those lonely, lonely times

And I guess I never told you

I'm so happy that you're mine

If I made you feel second best<

Girl, I'm so sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

Carry, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died

Give me, give me one more chance

To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Little things I should have said and done<

I just never took the time

You were always on my mind

You are always on my mind

無言的抗議 牠才上岸一下 就學會抽菸 還是放他回大海吧 希望河海也不會漸漸被汙染

迎著海風，任衣襟呼啦啦作響也不去理會，感悟著風的流暢與自由。風一陣陣的吹來，夾帶著海的味道。我任風充滿我的臉頰，希望它能吹走身旁蚊蟲，也能吹走我心中的那一點愁緒。想起了許多不如意的往事，我忽然大聲叫道：「蒼天倘能盡人意，山做黃金海做田。」

一隻不知名的鳥兒從我眼前飛過，消失在遠方。我輕輕地閉上雙眸，用心靈翻開前人以生命的經歷與體會而書寫成的頁張。

逝者已矣，來者可追。

這時，鳥兒捎帶來的歌也開始播放：

Let it be

When I find myself in time of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the broken
Hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer
Let it be

For though they may be parted
There is still a chance
That they will see
There will be an answer
Let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light
That shines on me
Shine until tomorrow
Let it be

I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
There will be an answer
Let it be ——Lyrics：Paul MccartneyMusic：Paul MccartneyArtist：Paul Mccartney